Why This is Good

The first ten percent of the film establishes the character in their everyday life, or the “Ordinary World” to use Chris Vogler’s terminology. This part of the script is often the easiest to write, and because of that, many writers overlook it and don’t spend as much time here analyzing and agonizing over every word. Since the second act is often the most difficult, and the third act contains the climax and the most exciting part of the story, the opening ten percent is glossed over.

This first portion of your script is where you win or lose your audience or your reader, and it is vital to the success of your script. Some scripts open right away with an inciting incident that sets the story in motion. In this case the first ten percent is off to a quick start and the writer will have to go back when the action has slowed a bit to establish who the character is and what their world is like. For the majority of films, and the majority of screenwriting structure paradigms, the first ten percent prior to the inciting incident is what tells us who the character is, what their everyday life is like, and establishes why we should like them and care enough about them to want to watch the rest of the film.

In this short amount of time, you need to accomplish several things:

-Introduce and describe the hero.

-Grab the reader’s attention with an exciting, compelling story and engaging writing.

-Establish the hero’s normal life, what they are like and what they are doing before the story really starts.

-Invite the reader into the world of the story by using vivid detail and visual descriptions to create a realistic and three-dimensional setting, whether the story is set in a real or imagined world, in the past, present or future.

-Create empathy for the hero using some of the techniques described here.

-Show the inciting incident that sets the story in motion.

This is not to be confused with the first act turning point that occurs at 25% and firmly establishes the goal for the rest of the film. The inciting incident is the very first event that begins the hero’s journey out of their ordinary world and into the world of the story.

For the next few days, I’ll examine how to accomplish each of these objectives in depth. First I’ll discuss introducing the hero, specifically, describing them.

While character descriptions must be brief, the description of the hero can be a little longer. Take a full paragraph-at least a few sentences-to really describe the hero. Remember that the character description should not be about hair and eye color, or any physical description that would limit casting, unless specific looks are essential to the story or the character. For example, the hobbits had to be described as short, rotund, and with hairy feet,  that Elle Woods was Legally Blonde, and it did matter to the story that all those nerdy girls who would become hot by taking off their glasses or getting a makeover (She’s All That, The Princess Diaries, Walk to Remember, Never Been Kissed, etc.) looked nerdy. But even when looks matter, you’ll find that the descriptions aren’t so specific-as they often get in books-that only one person could play the part. Any number of blondes could have been Elle, the hobbits casting wasn’t limited to brunettes, and those nerdy pre-makeover girls could have any number of hair color, eye color or height.

What matters in describing characters, particularly your hero, is capturing their essence. Who are they? What can we tell about their personality from the way they act, the way they carry themselves, or the way they dress? And while you cannot get into the character’s head and give us a psychoanalysis of their neuroses and hang-ups, you can and should give us an overall image of what they’re like.

You can also use visual description to imply what a personality is like, it’s all about choosing the right adjectives. You need to pick words that can be acted and shown on screen. Shy is not as visual and actable as timid, meek, soft-spoken or careful. Mean is not as visual as aggressive or hostile. Nice is not as visual as warm, friendly or bubbly. Be careful in your descriptions, and try to choose the most actable, visual words to describe your hero. Throughout the script, make sure that we see them acting in a way that is consistent with this description. As you review your character descriptions, ask yourself how the audience will know that what you’ve described is true, since they won’t be able to see the words you’ve written. If your description is visual and actable, then everything you’ve written about your character will be easily known and understood by viewers watching your film, not just people reading your script.

Here are two character descriptions that say the same things about the hero. The first is an example of what not to do-and what most writers do out of habit in their first draft. The second description rewrites the first in a more visual way that an actor could take to the screen and portray.

JESSICA is 5’8” and 140lbs, thin but muscular and toned. She is 24 years old. She spends all her time outside riding horses so she is always tan, with some freckles on her nose and cheeks. She has long brown hair that she always wears up in a ponytail. Jessica’s parents divorced when she was six and she has always had a hard time trusting people because her father left her and her mom. She has abandonment issues and when she gets into a relationship she always suspects her boyfriends of cheating on her. She gets jealous easily and constantly starts fights with them, and has a hard time being friendly because she is afraid if she gets close to someone they will leave like her father did.

JESSICA, 24, is athletic and outdoorsy. She wears black mud-covered riding boots over dusty, worn jeans and a thin white tank top. Her hair is pulled up out of the way. Jessica is reserved and cautious.

It’s not just the length of the description that has been cut down, it’s the novelistic background details that aren’t visual. How would the audience know that Jessica’s parents divorced? The only way they would know is if she reveals it in dialogue, or if you show a flashback of this event happening. But those things are not part of the character description.

The details about what she does in a relationship are also not something that can be acted on screen when Jessica is first introduced. Rather than telling your reader something the audience cannot see, you will need to show that Jessica does this by writing out scenes in which she acts this way. The details about her looks that limit casting have been omitted, and the overall look is summed up in the general but visual adjectives of athletic and outdoorsy. The important thing about her is that she is athletic.

By describing her clothes, we can tell she rides horses. Even better would be if she were introduced in a restaurant, or at school or work-somewhere where the fact that she was dressed this way was not appropriate and would reveal that she is so into riding she is always just coming from seeing her horse and can’t be bothered changing into more suitable clothes. This is a good way to show that she is a rider rather than novelistically telling us that she rides horses a lot.

To transform the novelistic sentence: “She has long brown hair that she always wears up in a ponytail” to one that works in a screenplay, I have changed it to “Her hair is pulled up out of the way.” No need to limit casting with the long brown hair detail, it doesn’t matter to the essence of the character if her hair is long and brown or short and blonde. We can’t know that she always wears it up because we are only describing what we see here. Her hair is up now, but the audience would have no way of knowing that she always wears her hair in a ponytail, so it’s inappropriate to describe her this way in a screenplay.

By saying she is reserved and cautious, we have transformed all of her background information and hang-ups into two actable, specific, visual adjectives that the actor can use to approach the character and show us that she has all of these issues, the details of which can be revealed through dialogue and later events. The important thing now is giving an overall impression and a visual description that evokes an image in the readers mind, and character traits that any athletic, 20-something actress could portray.

In your first draft, don’t slow down your writing by worrying over every word. Describe the character as you see him or her, but go back in subsequent revisions and analyze whether or not your descriptions are visual or not. Ask yourself how the audience will see that what you have written is true. If the only way to know a detail you have put down would be to read the script, then you need to revise your description to make it more visual and appropriate for a screenplay.

For more information on the first 10%, check out Michael Hauge’s lecture Grabbing the Reader in the First 10 Pages-available on DVD by clicking here.

After going over the ways to make a character likable, I want to point out that your characters can and should be flawed. Every hero in a film needs to have experienced some trauma in their past that has caused them to react to the world in an unhealthy way. The experience that they will go through during their story-whether it is meeting the love of their life, accomplishing a career or personal goal, or changing the world-will heal this wound, teach them that they have to live life in a healthy way again in order to be fulfilled by accomplishing their goals.

We know from Storytelling 101 that a well-written script involves a protagonist with a goal who tries to accomplish this goal but faces opposition, which he or she eventually overcomes. Opposition comes in two forms-external and internal. The hero cannot accomplish their goal because the antagonist, circumstances, or forces of nature are preventing them from getting what they want. For example, in Shrek, Shrek cannot be with Fiona because she is betrothed to Lord Farquaad. This is the external opposition. But Shrek is also wrestling with his own internal obstacle. He lacks the confidence he needs to admit his feelings, and he has been hurt and rejected in his past for looking different, so much so that he has shut down and decided it’s better to be alone than to open up and face possible rejection. He is forced to overcome both obstacles before he can accomplish his goal, and finally be himself and live a full life.

In crafting your characters, delve into their past and determine what happened to them that made them the flawed, incomplete person they are today? This is usually something that happened in their childhood and deeply affected them. Write out that scene, in prose form, so you can fully explore their life before you put them into your screenplay. This event will most likely not be a part of your script, but it can and may come out in dialogue. Whatever it was, it has created in them a fear of doing the one thing that they will be forced to do in the climax of your story. Overcoming this fear is the only way they can accomplish their goal and achieve true happiness and an authentic life.

Creating sympathy for your hero is an essential part of successful screenwriting. This is something many writers overlook in their quest to create a great flawed hero who can go through an arc. But in order for the audience to enjoy the movie, they need to empathize with the character-relate to them, understand them and care about watching them take the two hour journey that will be the movie.

The same things that make you like or dislike a person in real life will make your audience like or dislike your hero. There are some specific devices you can utilize to make your audience empathize with your hero. It’s important that you employ one of these techniques within the first ten pages, or your reader will lose interest in your hero, and therefore your film. And luckily, some of these can still work if your hero has to start out flawed in order for your story to work.

Undeserved Misfortune-the key here is undeserved. Something bad that isn’t their fault. If they are running late for work because they stopped to help a little old lady with a flat tire, and they get fired. If it is their fault, it’s not undeserved misfortune. If they are running late for work because they stopped to get a coffee because they had a horrible hangover from partying too hard the night before and they get fired. That is their fault and therefore not sympathetic. In Fight Club, Edward Norton’s apartment explodes. In no way is this his fault, so we feel sorry for him.

They are in jeopardy-we care about people we are worried about, and will want to continue watching to make sure they are going to be okay. Jamal in Slumdog Millionaire, Harry Potter in all of his movies, Frodo and the other hobbits in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. We know something bad is going to happen to them, so we are compelled to not only care about them, but to watch and see if they will be okay.

Liked by others-showing that people are liked by others by showing them around their friends, often at a birthday part, especially a surprise party, or showing that they are popular at work or school. Oskar Schindler in Schindler’s List is shown at a party, schmoozing up a storm, he’s the toast of the town. Because others like him, we feel we can like him too. He must be a good guy.

Kind to animals- Obscure but true. Characters who are kind to animals are perceived as heroic, likeable characters. If they are kind to other less fortunate creatures that also will make them likeable. A lot of movies show the hero giving money to a charity, a homeless person, or volunteering. We all know that is the right thing to do and therefore we instantly like those we see doing this and will want to keep watching them.

Good at what they do- Most people wish they had more power, and therefore admire people with power. James Bond movies use this exclusively to make you like James Bond. He has tons of power and he is good at what he does. Often times this is one of the first things you see in the beginning of a movie, the hero at work, making deals, helping people, making money, finding the bad guy, etc. Show that they are good at what they do and they have power, and we will like them. This is a great technique to use when your character is kind of a jerk and is going to learn something during the course of the film.

In As Good as it Gets, Jack Nicholson’s character Melvin is almost entirely unlikeable, save for the fact that he is good at what he does.

In Collateral, Jamie Foxx wasn’t just a cab driver, but he was the best cab driver ever. He was meticulous about keeping the cab clean, and he knew the best routes and had a very good sense of how long it took to get everywhere. We respected him also because he embodied the next trait.

They have grand aspirations-He was a cab driver, but he dreamed of owning his own business. In Jerry Maguire, Jerry noticed the problems in the world and dreamed of bringing some integrity back to his corrupt business. We like this.

See the problems in the world/want to fix it- your hero will be likeable if he sees the problems in the world and wants to fix them. In Jerry Maguire, Jerry embodies three of these qualities-he is good at what he does, he sees problems and wants to fix them, and he has a big dream. As discussed in yesterday’s post, Baby in Dirty Dancing can’t wait to join the Peace Corps and make the world a better place. She goes out of her way to help Penny and help others.

Funny-Everyone would like to be funny, and everyone likes to be around funny people. Giving your hero a sense of humor makes them seem down to earth, easy to get along with, and just downright entertaining and fun to be around and watch. Juno, in Juno was instantly likeable because of her wit and humor. Even if it’s not a comedy, they can have a strong sense of wit and irony that makes them appear funny, and smarter than the average idiot, it makes them special. We like that.

Unselfish- Referring back to the undeserved misfortune example. Our hero that helped the old lady with the flat tire even though he knew it was going to make him late and get fired was acting unselfishly. Showing your character is unselfish is a great way to make the audience like them. Will Smith’s character in Seven Pounds gives up time, money, and his own organs in order to help others.

As a tribute to the great Patrick Swayze, I thought my first film analysis should be on the classic that he helped make so popular. Dirty Dancing won an Academy Award and a Golden Globe for Best Original Song, and was nominated for other Golden Globes. Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey had undeniable chemistry that helped launch the film to the success it was and has continued to be for the past 22 years. But what made this film good besides the sexy dancing, the steamy romance, and the great music? What can screenwriters learn from this film and how the script made it good?

Baby Houseman is introduced via voiceover, driving to the Kellerman resort with her family. It’s clear from the short car ride that Baby is an intellectual, idealistic Daddy’s girl, contrasted with her sister Lisa, who is prissy and conceited.  While Baby is instantly likeable, she has a lot of room to grow, she’s immature, shown both by her idealism and the very odd nickname she lets everyone call her. What normal 17 year olds would put up with being called Baby?

But we still like her, not only is she smart, she is sweet and caring, and doesn’t look down on people or think she’s better than them because her family has money. While the rest of her family stands around admiring the resort, Baby goes to help the valet unload their luggage.

The next scene shows Baby in a dance class led by vivacious Penny. She’s out of place among the middle aged and up vacationers, and worse than that, is out of step and can’t get into the rhythm. We further identify with her for being out of place, not fitting in, and being embarrassed.

Baby goes to investigate the main house and overhears Mr. Kellerman telling his “college boys” that they are to flirt with and take out the daughters of the guests. Just then Patrick Swayze, as  Johnny Castle, swaggers in with the entertainment crew, who Mr. Kellerman warns to stay away from the guests.

After a dull dinner, Baby is stuck dancing with Neil, Mr. Kelerman’s snobby grandson, the self-proclaimed “catch of the county.” He’s dull and irritating, baby is bored out of her mind until  Johnny enters, dancing with Penny-they’re amazing and Baby is mesmerized-this is the at 10%, and is the start of Baby’s adventure.

Bored, Baby wanders off to the staff headquarters, where she bumps into Johnny’s cousin, Billy juggling huge watermelons up a long staircase. She offers to help and he takes her to the raucous staff dance party, where everyone is dancing dirtily. Johnny and Penny dance with intensity, but Billy assures Baby they’re not dating. When Johnny asks what Baby is doing there, she offers up a lame “I carried a watermelon” and then dies of embarrassment at how stupid she sounded in front of sexy Johnny. Again her awkwardness makes us like her, feel sorry for, but also relate to her. We’ve all said dumb things in front of someone we liked.

Johnny pulls her onto the dance floor and they dance together, intense chemistry ignites Baby’s rhythm and she is left wanting more.

The next day Baby finds Penny sobbing, she gets Johnny and Billy to help.  At 25% we learn that Penny is knocked up by “college boy” waiter Robbie Gould, who is also pursuing Baby’s sister Lisa. Penny can’t afford the $250 abortion, Baby begs Robbie to do something and when he refuses, she throws water in his face and tells him off and gets the money from her dad. Penny tells Baby she can’t get the abortion anyway because she and Johnny are slated to perform a mambo at a neighboring resort. Baby volunteers to be Johnny’s partner so Penny can get her little problem taken care of. This is the start of Act 2, where Baby will learn to dance, and to love. She will stop being a Baby and start living as an adult.

A montage shows Baby growing into a great dancer, and chemistry building between the two. Their performance is okay, Baby makes a few mistakes and can’t do the lift they practiced.

At 50% Penny is in trouble and in pain, the doctor was a hack and hurt her. Baby gets her dad who saves Penny, mistakenly pegging Johnny as the father “who got his partner in trouble and sent her off to some butcher, while he moved on to an innocent young girl.”

Dr. Houseman warns Baby that she should have nothing to do with those people. Baby goes to see Johnny the next day and apologizes for the way her dad treated him.

Baby and Johnny spend more and more time together, growing more and more in love. But Baby still hides Johnny from her father. This shows that she has not completed her character arc yet, as she is still a child, more worried about what her father thinks than what she wants and who she really is.

At 75%, Mr. Kellerman is convinced that Johnny is responsible for a missing wallet, and is about to fire him, when Baby speaks up, Johnny couldn’t have stolen the wallet, she was with him all night. Baby has finally become a mature adult here, caring more about her love and doing what is right than her father’s approval. She has chosen Johnny and true love over family. Later it’s discovered that an older couple is responsible for the stolen wallets, as Baby suspected, but Johnny is still fired.

At the talent show, Dr. Houseman finds out that Robbie is the one who knocked up Penny. As everyone dies of boredom watching the lame talent show, Johnny enters, utters those famous words: “Nobody puts Baby in a corner” and sweeps Baby off her feet and into a fabulous dance routine. She finally does the lift, representing her growth into a woman, and her embracing her new life and love. She is comfortable being herself now that Johnny has awakened her to living a life with passion and love.  Their energetic dance gets the whole camp off their feet and dancing. Dr. Houseman apologizes to Johnny and they all dance off happily ever after.