Why This is Good

One criticism you may run into is that you have a lot of “talking head” scenes. This means that you have a page or more of non-stop straight dialogue-usually just two characters talking back and forth. This is generally considered bad screenwriting, although it is something most new writers do with abandon.

One reason so many attempt this at first is that it is very prevalent in books and stage plays. What works on stage or in a novel usually doesn’t in a screenplay. Films are visual mediums, and so they should utilize the wide array of features available to the filmmaker, not limit themselves to dialogue. In a play, it makes sense to have characters simply sit, or stand, and talk back and forth. This is how plays deliver information and tell the story because they are limited in terms of location. Even the biggest budget Broadway production will only have a few different sets, and so the actors often have to talk about things rather than showing them happening. There is no ability to cut to a scene, a person, or a shot of something to explain it. There are no close-ups to reveal something small or a detail or clue. Facial expressions and emotions are also more exaggerated in stage plays than in films. Actors know the difference is huge, and writers must as well.

Another reason why new screenwriters fall back to the talking head trope is that many writers are excellent at writing dialogue. They have a great ear for how people speak and they have crafted unique, exciting characters with interesting voices and perspectives. The dialogue sounds beautiful, melodic, poetic in their ears and the writer falls in love with their own talent and brazenly displays this talent on page after page of back-and-forth witty, beautifully written dialogue. But, again, since film is a visual medium, dialogue is the most inefficient and un-cinematic way to tell a story on screen. In nearly every case, it is better to show us what is happening than to tell us.

I know you’re about to comment: “But my favorite movie is Pulp Fiction and it is incredibly dialogue-heavy! How can you say that Quentin did something wrong?” The short answer is that you’re not Quentin Tarentino (and if you are and you’re reading this blog, awesome, please tell your friends!). Until you are, you can learn something from the advice of others and you should stick to the rules until you make it big.

The long answer is that Quentin Tarentino has a gift for creating intense dramatic tension. He can use a lot of dialogue and still craft an exciting, visual story. Tarentino never just uses talking heads. His characters are always on the move and doing something. He uses the dialogue to prolong the tension and as an ironic backdrop to the events that are happening. When Pumpkin and Honey Bunny are discussing robbing the diner, we feel anxious because we know that at any moment they’re going to whip out guns and hold up the place. It’s also ironic and funny how sweet and cutesy they are with each other when immediately followed by their extremely violent outburst. When Jules and Vincent are discussing cheeseburgers, it’s tense because we can already tell these two are bad-asses on their way to something nefarious. When they arrive and shoot up the apartment, the fact that they were calmly discussing France only seconds before is not just ironic, but reveals how often they perform violent acts-they are so blasé about it and used to it that it doesn’t bother them a bit and they can go from inane chit-chat to shooting people with ease. In this way, Tarentino is showing us what their characters are like in a far more effective way than if he told us in the action description. Their conversation also sets up the idea that messing with Marsellus Wallace’s wife will get you in a world of hurt, and that fact is what sustains tension throughout all of Vincent and Mia’s discussions.
The same is true of Butch and Fabienne’s conversations. We know Butch is a hardened, tough fighter, but seeing him be so syrupy sweet to Fabienne makes him loveable, offers contrast, and creates tension when we know he has to get his watch before things go terribly wrong. All of these conversations could be talking-head scenes except for the fact that they are used to create irony, contrast and dramatic tension. You’ll also notice how rarely the characters are just sitting and talking. Usually they are on their way somewhere or doing some sort of small action while speaking.

Tarentino uses the same brilliant technique for creating tension in Inglorious Basterds, another extremely dialogue-heavy film. Again here he is using the long-drawn out dialogue to build tension. As Hitchcock explained, having a bomb under the table can make the mundane act of two people having breakfast extremely tense and suspenseful. The audience knows it is there and is anxiously anticipating its explosion. This is exactly why so much back-and-forth dialogue still works in Inglorious Basterds. Once we see the Jews hiding under the floorboards, we worry intensely through what would otherwise be a boring conversation between Hans and LaPadite. When Shoshanna later talks to Frederick, or Hans, we are worried that they will discover she is an escaped Jew, so their dialogue is full of anticipation and fear. In the bar scene when the Basterds go to meet Bridget, we worry the entire time that the Nazis will uncover their plot and realize who they are. This tension sustains the length of the conversation and makes it far from a talking-heads type of scene.

In both When Harry Met Sally and 500 Days of Summer, there is a lot of back-and-forth dialogue between the two principal characters. These films do not seem too talky because they keep the characters moving. The characters never just sit and talk, they are always doing something interesting, in a new place, or walking around. Any movement or action is better than two characters just sitting in a dull setting and speaking to each other. Keep the story visually interesting even through dialogue by injecting movement and action everywhere. In their own way, these two romantic comedies also rely on tension and suspense to keep the conversations intriguing. In When Harry Met Sally, we are constantly wondering if they will get together, so their long conversations are interesting as we are looking for a sign that they do love each other, and we get the feeling they might kiss at any moment. In 500 Days of Summer, we, like Tom, are trying to figure out what went wrong and why they are no longer together, so their conversations are interesting in an analytical sense, we’re tensely awaiting a big blow-up or some sort of conflict that would tell us why they didn’t make it.

Films are visual. Whenever possible you should show what is happening rather than having the characters tell us about it as they would in a stage play or a novel. Avoid talking heads, and use dialogue to create tension by using dramatic irony. Keep the characters moving and give them something to do. Never have an entire page of only dialogue!

Check out my guest blog post on engaging the reader on Debra Eckerling’s website: Write On! Online.

In addition to the differences discussed yesterday, dialogue in novels and dialogue in screenplays must be written differently. The reason why becomes apparent when you look at what each medium is. Novels and short stories are meant to be read, usually by a single person. Reading a novel is primarily done silently, so the dialogue is generally not spoken aloud. Because of this, dialogue in novels is often more formal than dialogue in screenplays. The dialogue in a novel can be long, drawn out, and flowery because it will rarely be spoken aloud.

Dialogue in a screenplay is ultimately meant to be read aloud, and because of this the screenwriter, unlike the novelist, has to take extra care to make sure their dialogue sounds as natural as possible. Many first drafts are full of dialogue that is stilted and formal because the writer neglects to use contractions, and doesn’t think about how people really speak. Most people rely heavily on contractions, including words that aren’t commonly seen in print because they aren’t really words, like “gonna” for “going to,” “dunno” instead of “don’t know,” “lemme” in place of “let me” and “wanna” for
“want to.” While English teachers permit the use of only the accepted, properly spelled contractions: don’t, won’t, can’t, I’d, shouldn’t, wouldn’t, etc., these new abbreviations aren’t really words, and won’t show up in most novels. In screenplays, however, it is perfectly acceptable to use these types of words, as they clearly represent a more natural, casual form of speaking that everyone recognizes as sounding realistic. Do not, however, go so far as to spell out accents and dialects phonetically. This gets much too tedious and difficult to read. Better to note if a character speaks with a strong accent in a parenthetical or a character description.

The screenwriter also faces another challenge when crafting dialogue that the novel author does not. As discussed yesterday, a screenwriter has to rely almost completely on the dialogue to reveal what each character thinks and feels, because unlike the novelist, they are unable to delve into the characters thoughts, and must convey emotion via the dialogue. While the novelist can have dialogue interspersed with long paragraphs describing what the phrase or word meant, how the character felt about saying it, how the other character felt upon hearing it, and then spend pages examining what these feelings mean, the screenwriter is left with only the dialogue. And of course, they must express their character’s inner thoughts and emotions while keeping their dialogue from becoming too expository or on-the-nose.

A fine line is walked by the screenwriter because while dialogue is the only tool they really have to express emotion (the actors, of course will express much with their skill when the script is turned into  a film, but the writer doesn’t have that tool at this stage), it still needs to sound real, and real people don’t generally wear their hearts on their sleeves, nor do most people even fully comprehend, let alone reveal, how they really feel in any given situation. Subtlety is the rule here, and psycho-babble laden, overly introspective speeches on a character’s emotions are a sign of a poorly written first draft by a newbie.

Emotions, feelings, and thoughts must be revealed slowly, naturally, and with as much left to the imagination as possible. The dramatic, extremely emotional scene in Chinatown when Evelyn reveals to Gittes that she has been the victim of incest is not dialogue heavy. Evelyn does not sit down and explain, in long-drawn out story, all of the pain she carries after having been raped by her father, she doesn’t get into how it happened, how it made her feel, what she thought about it then, what she thinks about it now. She does nothing but utter the few, memorable words, after much prompting from Gittes, “She’s my sister and my daughter.” This simple explanation conveys the emotion and pain behind the revelation much more effectively than if that scene had read like an hour long therapy session in. She does explain a little, but it is still relatively terse and succinct, given the nature of the event, and this works much better than pages and pages of overly revealing dialogue.

Citizen Kane expressed all of his longing for his childhood and lost innocence in a single word that had the other characters guessing and investigating what he meant. Imagine how much less powerful would that film have been if he had murmured instead the on-the-nose dialogue: “I’m sentimental about my childhood and longing to go back to a simpler time when I felt young and free and innocent.”

As a writer, particularly a screenwriter, it’s important to notice things around you and keep track of your observations both to keep up your writing skills, and to get you in the habit of noticing the visual details all around you. I’ve mentioned in several prior posts to keep track of certain things, so I thought it would be helpful to compile all of them here, and give you specific items to pay attention to.

Today, we’ll look at dialogue.

Some writers have an ear for dialogue. I think this comes from being a good listener. It’s easy to get so wrapped up in our own thoughts and the distractions of technology that we don’t pay attention to other people around us. Listening is crucial, and it’s important that you listen to others who aren’t necessarily talking to you, or else your observations will be limited to only the type of people you associate with.

Some people have wide circles of friends and family that include all different generations and people from all walks of life. But most people associate primarily with others around their age, and from the same socio-economic class that they are a part of. And, unless you’re extremely well-travelled, it’s hard to get a sense of how people speak in different areas, so it’s important to be aware and listen whenever you’re out around others, so that you’ll get a sampling of people from many different places.

Broaden your knowledge by listening to strangers everywhere you go. Don’t walk around with earbuds in and your iPod blasting, and don’t spend so much time texting and twittering that you don’t hear what’s going on around you. Listen to people. What is the current slang that the teenagers around you are using? How does the pattern of the old woman’s voice differ from that of the middle-aged man on the phone? Can you tell by what people are saying how they feel? Do people sound different on the phone than they do in person? If you hear an odd phrase or interesting piece of information, take note of what caught your attention. Was it the way they said it or the words themselves? Listening to real people as much as possible will greatly improve your dialogue and help you write realistic lines for people whose experiences do not mirror your own. Without observing real people, all of your dialogue reference will come from your immediate circle of friends and family, and you may want to write about characters who come from a different place than these people represent.

It’s easy to observe dialogue, if you keep your ears open. If you’re in a line at the store or a movie, stay quiet and listen to the people around you. How do they speak to each other? To the cashier? Try striking up a conversation and observe how they react. Do they speak to you the same way they were talking to their friend on the phone? If not, what was different? Go to restaurants alone and talk to the waiter. Ask them where they’re from, and see if you can detect an accent, pattern, or rhythm to their speech that reveals they aren’t from the same place you are. Walk around malls, sit at Starbucks, and observe teenagers and kids. The slang they’re using will be completely different than anything you said when you were in high school, even if you are only in your early twenties. It changes so rapidly, it’s important to listen to how kids are speaking everyday, so that your characters, no matter what age they are, will sound authentic.

The language of screenwriting is different than other forms of writing. We already know that screenwriting utilizes visual images, terse writing style, and short, declarative sentences. It is important to avoid overly flowery language but still use enough of the most precise adjectives to convey a vivid image of both person and place. This is done best by using details and visual clues that capture the essence of what things look and feel like without having to go into too much detail.

Every writer must find their own style, even within the generally accepted guidelines of screenwriting prose. This can become especially difficult if English is not your native language. Colloquialisms, slang, and current trends in language are important to incorporate into your writing, but if you’re not used to writing in English, this becomes a challenge. Both the action description and dialogue can sound too formal and stilted if you’re not a native speaker. Listening to real life conversations is important for all screenwriters trying to perfect their dialogue, but it is essential for non-native speakers. You’ll learn phrases, expressions, and sentence structure that isn’t taught in English classes. If you’re not a native English speaker, you should also try to read as many screenplays as possible. Reading only books, magazines and newspapers will not help you get used to the appropriate language that should be used in a screenplay.

After you’ve written your story, have as many native English speakers-whether they are screenwriters or not-read your script and give you feedback on the language you’ve used. Revise as many times as needed to make sure your script sounds completely Americanized.

Everyone, no matter what language they speak, should share their story, and screenwriting is one of the best ways to reach a large audience with your vision.

Another dialogue problem, expository dialogue is when you use dialogue to tell us things about the story or the characters in an unnatural way. For example, “Have a great day at work in the hospital, dear.” Assuming this is a spouse or talking to another spouse, we can also assume that they already know where they work, it sounds phony and unnatural to state it, and it’s clearly done just to tell the audience that the person works in the hospital.

Or “Your sister, Beth is at the door.” Most people know the name of their sister. This sounds more like an introduction. Or, if speaking to a close friend or family member: “Hi Mary, I had a hard day working at the train station today. My boss, John, was riding me all day.” A close friend would know where the speaker worked, and probably the boss’s name. Most people don’t call people by their first names on a regular basis either. A more realistic line would be: “Work was tough, John was riding me all day.”

Expository dialogue is a common problem and will almost always be present to some extent in first drafts. It is important to review your script to make sure your dialogue sounds natural, realistic, and like something your characters would actually say. Paying attention to how real people talk, and always listening when you are out around others will help you develop an ear for natural, realistic dialogue and help you write accurate dialogue that improves your story.

Screenplays are not plays, they rely on visual images to tell a story. Dialogue is a vital part of the storytelling process, but it should not dominate the script. Whenever possible, it is better to show, not tell. Use the visual medium for its intended purpose. Screenplays are often dialogue heavy because characters talk about something that happened rather than showing that as a scene. Whereas in a play this is often necessary because locations, sets and special effects are limited, in a film you can show anything, happening anywhere. There is no need for the characters to talk about something we don’t see, just show it. Equally irritating are characters discussing something we have already seen. Unless it’s pertinent to the story for a character to relay the details of an event to another character, don’t include recaps. Those that are necessary should be very brief, or cut away during the telling, so the audience isn’t bored with hearing about what they just watched.

Much of first draft dialogue is repetitive. This is easier to spot on your second draft, or if you have your script reviewed by someone else. Read the dialogue out loud. Are the ideas repeated over and over? If so find a concise, natural way for the characters to say what they mean, and move on. Often less dialogue is more powerfully able to convey emotion than pages and pages of introspection.

Dialogue is perhaps one of the most challenging components of screenwriting. Most writers rely far too heavily on dialogue to move their story forward. When you do write dialogue, it’s often difficult to get it to sound natural, and individualized. I often find myself telling writers that their dialogue all sounds the same. It’s very hard, especially in early drafts when you yourself don’t even know your characters, to write dialogue that sounds different for each character, but this is a vital part of a successful script.

In the first draft, write out the dialogue that comes to you-it won’t be good, but you’ll put down what needs to be said and when. Then go back, re-read, and revise. The next step should be having it read aloud. If you are part of a writer’s group, have actor friends, or just friends who like hearing themselves talk, have them help you. Read the scenes aloud, with different people reading each part. Hearing it read by other voices will help you hear what works, and what doesn’t. You’ll notice things that sound phony, cheesy, or hackneyed when you hear it aloud, versus seeing it on the computer screen.

Make notes during the read, and get input from the people reading. How did they feel about their part? Were there things they felt sounded odd, or out of character for that person? Revise again based on these notes.

In your daily life, make sure you listen to people talking all the time. Take those earbuds out and observe as much conversation as you can everywhere you go. It’s especially important to observe when you’re writing characters with different backgrounds from yours, or the opposite sex, or people much younger or older than you are.  If there’s a 13 year old in your script and you write the slang that was cool when you were in junior high, it will be instantly recognizable as phony to the parents of teenagers, and the teenagers themselves. And you don’t have to go lurking creepily in school yards to eavesdrop on kids (you definitely should not do that). Kids and teenagers are everywhere, and you’ll hear them if you listen, at Starbucks, in the mall, at and fast food restaurants. You’ll also hear elderly people, people from other parts of the country, people with different accents, all different types. Listen to how they speak, the words they use, the length of their sentences, the way they phrase things. Write it down, and pay attention to how you can capture their cadence and tone with words.  Just opening your ears to other people will make a world of difference in your dialogue, and greatly improve your screenplays.